Things I've Learnt About Judd

- Judd has never watched any internet porn with beastiality in it.
- Judd once got an erection in Tesco's. There were no survivors. [Yes, he told me this HIMSELF of HIS OWN ACCORD]
- Jen is Judd's bitch.
- Judd does not like whipped cream to be involved in sexual acts.
- Judd has never bought condoms.
- Judd is Austin Powers.
- Judd is refined.
- Judd has amazing dance moves.
- Judd is like a kindly uncle.
- Judd likes base 998.
- Judd is a rubbish brother; he actually lets his little bro read his conversations with Jen!!!
- Judd does the full works.
- Judd and Jen's SEX IS ON FIIIIRE.
- Judd's waiting list only has one person on it.
- Judd thinks he will die in a horrible accident involving women, whips, chains and oil.
- Judd doesn't get Jen.
- Judd does not wish to indulge in DIY circumcision.
- Judd is the bravest man in the western world - he actually BEGINS conversations with Jen on MSN. Sometimes.
- Judd has a nice deep hole.
- Judd has a firecrotch.
- Judd thinks that's JUST NOT NICE.

Judd; Man and Legend

In Dave the Musical, Judd was portrayed as Dave's screamingly camp and over-friendly but instantly iconic best friend.

In real life, Judd is as straight as a ruler [and not the proverbial bendy ruler] and is the 00's answer to Austin Powers.

When I have more time, I'll think of more profound praises for Judd.

But until then

JUDD HARRISON IS MY PIMP.